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Mobile phones, internet, and social media – independently and together have substantially impinged on our social life in one way or another. While the critics and cynics in us question the impact of technology in our regular life, it is also equally true, that no civilization in the history of mankind could successfully prevent the onward march of Science. Both science and technology has always been an unstoppable bulldozer, leveling the field for us to walk and follow, but at the same time leaving some collateral damages as well.
Those who tried to prevent or resist the onward march of science and technology, under whatever pretext, have either been sidelined in the long run, or became insignificant as history overgrew them. The short point of the above is to underline – that the mobile, internet and social media are here to stay. What we have to rather look into is to analyse and forecast, to limit the collateral damages of the above, and ensure we remain individually and socially alert and affable, and continue with the march of technology reaping its benefits.
First an analysis of the problems that these pose. Do the mobile phones reduce our social and personal skills? True, how many of us would remember the phone numbers of our beloved ones? How many of us face the unfortunate situation of remembering not a single phone number of our closed ones, when we lose our mobile phone or go down with no charge in the battery? There was a time, we would at least remember the phone numbers of all those in our close circles – both personal and professional.
Today we don’t. And we don’t have to. Our mobile phone remembers the numbers of everyone. All we have to do is to punch in the first three letters, the mobile would give you a list and we only have to choose by clicking. The smart phone (really smart, aren’t they?) have taken it one step further; we don’t even have to type; we just have to say the name loud for the phone to hear; it would start dialing the person.
Amazing; but therein lies the problem as well. We not only fail to remember the phone numbers of our beloved ones, but also the birthdays and anniversaries today. All we need to do is to enter the dates and time; the mobile would give you a reminder just before the day or the event. There was a time when we would wait for days and even weeks to get ready for the birthdays and anniversaries; think and rethink what needs to be purchased to gift and surprise them. Today, everything is in a combo; a bunch of flowers, cake and a bunny can be ordered well in advance and someone would go and deliver it for us.
We are not only outsourcing our ability remember the numbers and dates, but even our love and affection in terms of searching, buying and gifting.
Worse is what some of the applications of these new inventions do to our inter-personal relationship. Between parents, between parents and children, and more importantly between husband and wife and between lovers, there have always been fights, quarrels and mis-understandings. We always take time to resolve them in our own clumsy ways; if we are there together face to face, we fight, cry and make the other person understand. At least there is a personal face to our fights. Though we want to hurt the other person, we will always remember their reaction and responses, and when think about it later, it would haunt us and make us regret.
But with SMS, it has shortened the response time, and has made it totally impersonal, especially when things are not going smooth. Imagine two us being upset with each other and responding to the other over SMS, instead of talking face to face. Without knowing the personal response and understanding the intent, the SMS is a sure way to breakup, especially when we are upset. Today many affairs and love stories come to an end, because we decide to SMS each other instead of speaking. If only we take time, see the other person while fighting or arguing, we may make a different decision. But SMS do not give that opportunity. Then and there. And totally impersonal. It leaves a mark, sometimes permanently. Just three words “Its not working” or “I hate you” have a different impact, while said face to face, and sent over SMS. We may never know the hurt it has caused; hence we may never regret.
The facebook, on the other hand has made our social relationship transparent. Inter personal relationships right from the beginning have never been black and white; there have always been grey areas and the relationships sustain, because it gives a cushion time to take a final decision and respond. But with the facebook, the personal life has become public – from having a hair cut to making chicken at home. At times, even if we want to keep it private, it is there in the open already. Despite all the filters and restrictions, we do get tagged and commented upon.
There is a larger question of e-friends and the real ones. Are we moving into a stage, where we decide our social relationships based on the friends we have on the facebook, rather than those we have in real? Are we spending more time with our e-friends than those one with whom we play cricket, watch movies, dine and chill out? Today there are adequate e-widows and widowers, because the partners are more glued to the internet and mobile phone!
Are we also getting so glued to our mobile phone, internet, and the social media, that we don’t give adequate attention to what is happening in the rest of the world? Look at us while travelling in a bus or train, moving around in a mall or even within our home, when the rest of our family is talking to each other – are we not, at least some of us more glued to our mobile phone and facebook, than understanding what is happening around?
So what to do? Mobile phone, internet and social media seem to be redefining our social equations. Some say, technology is a double-edged sword. Is it the case with the above three? Or, we have to make a conscious decision to understand the negative fallouts of using the above, correct the imbalances and ensure that science and technology takes us forward?
Whether it is single-edged or double-edged, it depends on the user, and not the sword. Guns have never killed people; rather, it is people who have always killed. The purpose of the above commentary is more to analyse and debate the ill effects that the modern gadgets may cause to our social life, with an objective to make necessary adjustments and rebalancing. From trains to drones, there have always been reluctance in the initial phases; but we have to get used to them, and make the best use of it. Let us be aware of the collateral and be in a position to avoid it.
By Special Arrangement with Institute of Peace and Conflict Studies (http://www.ipcs.org)